Laila

TRANSCRIPT


“Today, my name is Laila. I’m currently working here at Instituto No Setor. Just yesterday, as I was leaving work, a man insulted me simply for existing—for being in a space that is also ours, you know? And I reacted in a way I hadn’t in decades.

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I beat that man so badly yesterday—the cameras there must have caught it. Some people were shouting, some even said ‘you did right, he shouldn’t be messing with people he doesn’t know.’

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If it had been another time, when I was living on the streets, I would have done something worse—I’d probably be in jail. I would have seriously hurt him.

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It was a moment where I didn’t recognize myself. But that’s what they want—that kind of violence, pointing fingers just because I’m a trans woman, thinking we’re a joke, something to mock, to ridicule. It’s hard… it hurt yesterday, it really hurt. It affected me because he said it clearly, looking straight at me.

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When I got home, I cried so much. So much.

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And it was because of that. During the day he was addressing me using male pronouns, even though I’m a trans woman, fully resolved in my life. That doesn’t bother me anymore—I’m completely happy and at peace with who I am. It’s been more than 10 years since I’ve used any substances, thank God. I quit on my own—I managed to.

 

I know it’s very hard, not everyone can do it, but I saw many girls, many of my friends, die from drug use and from violence on the streets. When I used crack, I was a different person. I didn’t recognize myself. I lost myself for years, and today when I look back, I see how intense my past was. I can only be grateful for everything I went through—even the violations society imposed on me, and that I allowed at the time. Today, I don’t accept any kind of violence in my life anymore. I speak up, I react, and I always will.

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My family didn’t have the foundation or knowledge to understand who I was—and neither did I understand what I would become. After turning 30, I managed to finish high school, take professional courses, and I’ve achieved a lot—and I’m still achieving, still pushing forward.

So what still hurts me deeply today, every single day, is society’s prejudice. People living on the streets respect us more for who we are than society itself.”