Laila

TRANSCRIPT

“Hi everyone, my name is Laila. I’m currently working here at Instituto No Setor. Just yesterday, as I was leaving work, a man insulted me simply for existing—for being in a space that is also ours, you know? So I reacted in a way I hadn’t in decades.

​

I hit that man so much yesterday that the cameras must have caught it, and some people were shouting—some even said, ‘you go, he shouldn’t be messing with people he doesn’t know.’

​

And if it had been another time, when I was living on the streets, I would have done something worse—I would have ended up in jail, you know? I might have seriously hurt him.

​

It was a moment of rage—I didn’t recognize myself. But this is what they want, this kind of violence, pointing fingers just because I’m a trans woman, a travesti, treating us like a joke, like something to mock. It’s messed up—it hurt, it really hurt yesterday. It affected me because he spoke clearly, looking right at me.

​

When I got home, I cried so much, alone. I cried a lot.

​

And it was because of that—during the day he kept referring to me using the male gender, even though I’m a trans travesti, fully resolved with who I am. That doesn’t shake me—I’m completely at peace and happy with my identity. It’s been over ten years since I stopped using any substances, thank God. I quit on my own—I managed to do it. I know it’s very hard, not everyone can, but I saw many girls, many of my friends, die because of drug use and violence on the streets. When I was using crack, I was a different person—I didn’t recognize myself. I lost myself for years, and now when I look back, I see how intense my past was. I’m grateful for everything I’ve been through—even the violations society imposed on me, and that I allowed at the time. Today, I don’t accept any form of violence in my life. I speak up, I react—and I will always react.

​

My family didn’t have the foundation or the knowledge to understand who I was, and I didn’t understand who I would become either. After turning 30, I managed to finish high school, take vocational courses, and I’ve achieved a lot—and I’m still achieving, still pushing forward.

​

So what still hurts me today, every single day, is society’s prejudice. People living on the streets respect us—travestis—more than society itself does.”